WHAT'D HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK
by 5UP3RN47UR4L
Summary: In Pilot Dean came back after he had left and end up saving Sam from the fire. This is what might have happened if he never turned back to save Sam and his wife and daughter. NON SLASH STORY!
1. When the bad guys don't care are you

**AN1**: This is the first chapter of my series named _What would have happened if Dean had never turned back?_ It starts right after Dean drove away in Pilot after they had solved the mystery of the Woman in White. This is my version of what might have happened if Dean had never turned back and saved Sam. And what if Sam and Jessica had a child?

**AN2:** Thank you takiaisjalka for your awesome beta work! You really made this happen, hun! 3

**AN3:**Reviews = gold = happy writer = happy readers! So make yourselves a favor and take a minute to leave a comment, please. Thank you!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 1: When the bad guys don't care are you done hunting**

Sam watched his brother drive away into the darkness. Impala's red rear lights disappeared behind the corner. Sam felt a little sting in his heart for leaving Dean again but he couldn't leave his life in there either. He couldn't leave his wife and their six-months-old baby girl.

His body ached after being beaten up by the woman in white. Warm shower and a comfy bed were what he needed now. That weekend had been a long one even though it was good to see Dean again and set things right between them. He was so excited to see his family again that he didn't notice the front porch light flickering and he thought the chills running down his back were just because he was cold.

As he was opening the front door of their apartment he had no idea how dramatically his life was going to change. And not just his life but the life of his daughter's too. He had no idea what kind of a father he was going to become after that particular night.

TBC…


	2. When it's time to hide away

**AN1:** The second chapter of my series. If the text doesn't make any sense to you let me clarify: Jessica died in the fire and now Sam is all alone with his daughter Haley who's about 6 months old.

**AN2:** This chapter was somehow a pretty tricky one to write and it was almost the last chapter I did. What made it difficult was that I had the beginning and the main storyline in my head but I just couldn't find a way to link those parts together. After a long break I just decided to keep it simple and this is the nest I could come up with.

**AN3:** Again, thank you for my awesome beta reader takiaisjalka!

**AN4**: Comments, comments, comments…Please!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 2: When it's time to hide away**

_Few days later…_

The black suit felt uncomfortable to wear. Sam sat quietly staring at some point on the floor. The guests of the funeral talked around him and some of them tried to say something comforting to him. _Well_ '_my condolence' didn't exactly help if you have lost everything._

Their Dad couldn't make it as usual but Dean was there taking care of Haley because all Sam could do right then was to sit in that chair and shake people's hands. Haley of course didn't have a clue what was going on.

Sam fingered his car keys in his left pocket as Haley sat in his lap.

"Hey, you ok?" Dean asked and looked at him with concern in his eyes.

_No, I'm not!_

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"The hell you are. I'll get us something to drink."

Those were the last words the brothers changed for many years. _I'm so sorry, Dean. I hope you'll forgive me one day._

And with that Sam took Haley and left his home, his friends, his school, his family. He left Dean.

TBC…


	3. When it's hard not to miss someone

**AN1:** Jessica's dead. Sam left with Haley and he hadn't talked with Dean since. Now we get to see what kind of a father he really is…

**AN2:** I like the cold and calculating Sam for some reason. And sorry, I had to separate our boys that Sam could be like he is now but don't worry I'm bringing them back together sooner than you think!

**AN3:** takiaisjalka, now there's a beta reader ;D

**AN4:** And once again: comments make a very happy writer!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 3: When it's hard not to miss someone**

About six months later…

Sam closed the motel room door and let Haley run to her bag of toys. She had just learned to walk few weeks ago and Sam had to watch her every move. Not that he tried to stop her from hurting herself because Sam thought it would be just good if she get used to some pain and discomfort. Instead Sam tried to see how she moved and held her body so he would know what they should start the training with. So far she seemed fine and Sam knew she'd become a great hunter one day.

As Haley played with her toys Sam checked his voice mails even though he knew already what to expect. And once again he was right: all the messages were from Dean, all 24 of them. Sam felt the familiar sting in his heart because he hadn't returned the calls once.

But Sam always listened to every single one of them. So far Dean had had only two things to say: "answer you son of a bitch" and "Sam, please, don't do this". Sam pushed the button expecting to hear Dean's pleadings again.

"Sam, it's Dean. We found the Demon and killed it." (Pause. Sam could hear Dean taking a deep breath.) "Dad's dead. Call me."

Sam never called him back.

TBC…


	4. When it's time be like someone else

**AN1:** I see you have a slight problem with Sam being like this and I warn you; if couldn't have stand his behavior so far this might a hard chapter for you. But I'd like you to keep John Winchester and young Dean in your mind when reading this.

**AN2:** takiaisjalka, my awesome beta reader! *hugs*

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 4: When it's time be like someone else**

_Four years later…_

"Come on, Haley. You can do better than that", Sam felt his patience running thin as he once again put the blank round gun back to his daughter's shaking hands. "Okay. Now look, all you have to do is keep your hands steady and then just aim and shoot. That's all, the loud bang's not gonna hurt you."

The little girl's lower lip quivered and she held the tears back. She hated days like this when she was forced to train with his father. She would have wanted to go to play with the other children and have fun. But she also knew how important this was. How important it was that she could protect herself and her father. There were monsters out there who wanted Dad and other people dead. It was her responsibility to learn how to do these things, how to be a great hunter like Dad.

So Haley raised the heavy gun again and pulled the trigger. This time she didn't flinch so badly and the metallic can which worked as a target fell off the bench. All the misery and fear and tiredness washed away when she saw her Dad's face full of pride.

TBC...


	5. When it's time for an intervention

**AN1:** Finally the moment the most of you have been waiting for: a longer chapter! :D Some of you have asked what's wrong with Sam and why the hell he left Dean. And my honest answer is I don't really know yet! :D But I think the main reason for Sam's behavior is that he's scared. He's scared for his daughter, he's scared he won't be able to protect her from all the evilness of the world. He thought it would be better if Haley knew all these things. After all Sam's still a father and he loves his daughter which I hope comes up more clearly in this chapter.

**AN2:** For those who are anxious to see Dean again don't worry he's closer than you might think!

**AN3:** And again, thanks to my beta reader takiaisjalka and keep the awesome comments coming! You ask me really good questions and make me think things!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 5: When it's time for an intervention**

_Another four years later…(Haley's about nine years old) _

Sam Winchester wasn't a fearful man. He didn't even startle when he faced the kind of monsters and horrible things most people hadn't even heard of. He could look at a warewolf straight into its eyes and push his hunting knife into the beast's heart.

But now as he was walking along the St. Welch Hospital halls Sam Winchester was terrified to death.

"Mr. Golhed?"

Sam stopped pacing and turned toward the young male doctor who had a pile of folders and forms in his arms. The doctor signed to Sam to come with him into his office and take a seat. The chair was the most uncomfortable Sam had ever sat in. _Except the one in Jess' funeral._

"How's Haley? Is she gonna be okay?" Sam asked impatiently.

"Yes, Mr. Golhed, she is going to be just fine. She has a mild arm break and a dislocated shoulder, but Mr. Golhed", he took a deep breath and tried to think how to say this as gently as possible. "You do understand this is the fourth time she's here? Not to mention she has almost the same injuries every time."

Sam frowned. He had a bad feeling what the doctor was about to say.

"And I hope you also understand that as a doctor I have to intervene when a child is clearly…I mean, I have to make some conclusions here, Mr. Golhed. I should have already." The doctor looked uneasy and he obviously hoped he could be anywhere else right then.

"What do you mean 'conclusions', doctor?" Sam growled. He could feel his temper boiling. "Do you think I abuse my daughter? Is that what you mean?"

The doctor held his hands up. "There's no reason for getting angry here, Mr. Golhed. And I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just saying I can't overlook this anymore."

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Would you just get to the freaking point already, _doctor_?"

"Okay, Mr. Golhed, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm afraid I have to address your daughter. Temporarily." The doctor looked at Sam intensively like daring him to protest his authority.

Little did he know. Sam Winchester wasn't afraid of him. No, Sam Winchester was afraid of effects his kind of a man could set off. Actually Sam was afraid what kind of effects Sam himself could set off. He knew this was all his fault. _Haley wasn't ready for that ghoul._

So Sam just settled for clenching his jaw and pressing his nails into the soft chair. He nodded the doctor to continue. He seemed to be relieved when Sam didn't start to yell at him.

"Well I guess I could make some concessions here. You seem to take good care of your daughter after all. I mean I haven't said those injuries were made by you. We just have to make sure, you know. I hope you understand, Mr. Golhed."

Sam tried his best to keep his voice level and calm. He couldn't lose this fight. He couldn't lose his child. "So how this all works? Does she have to move to live with strangers?"

"Actually this is what I had in mind: by the law I have the possibility of letting Haley live with you – "

Sam sighed in relief.

"– under one condition. You have to have a third person living with you two. And this person would in a way oversee your behavior. Just that we could be sure, well – you know", the doctor looked at Sam under his raised eyebrowns.

"Make sure I don't beat the shit out of my daughter", Sam said bitterly and regretted it immediately. "I mean yes, I do understand why this kind of procedure, doctor."

"Good. We are all just thinking what's best for Haley like you are Mr. Golhed", the other man piled his papers. "Now, do you have any suggestions who that third person could be?"

Sam thought quickly. He didn't any have relatives from Jessica's side. Sam had pretty much ignored them a few months after Jess' death. He had needed all the peace and quiet he could get. And of course his training methods would have stood out like a sore thumb. So that left only one person available; Dean. Sam wasn't too crazy about that; he hadn't spoken with his brother since Jess' funeral.

"Well I have a brother – ", he didn't finish the sentence.

The doctor's face lit up and his smile couldn't have been wider.

"That sounds excellent! Do you think your brother would agree to this?"

_Yeah, he'd be thrilled. _"I guess so but I still have to talk to him." _Unfortunately. How the hell did I screw up this bad…_

TBC…


	6. When it's time to return the calls

**AN1:** I got some interesting feedback of the previous chapter. The person giving it didn't appreciate how I was 'bashing' Sam and said it was common to Dean girls to do that. I'm not saying you're wrong I just want you to know I'm not doing it on purpose! **I don't hate Sam the more I do Dean**. I admit Sam is pretty different in this story but I can't just change him now when I've started this path. I appreciated your opinion and liked your comment because you explained why you thought that why, I just wished I could have answered you personally.

**AN2:** For Dean girls I have some great news: After this chapter you get to see the awesome big brother again! :D

**AN3:** This chapter was pretty full of mistakes…But my awesome beta takiaisjalka kicked them in the ass! And keep the comments coming! I'm learning so much from them!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 6: When it's time to return the calls **

Sam looked at Haley who was sleeping in the motel room bed. The girl had tried to stay up but after taking some pain killers she pretty much went limp. Sam had carefully carried her to her own bed. This had been a rough day for both of them.

_And it wasn't over yet._ Sam looked weary at his cell phone. It was funny actually; he still had Dean's number even though he hasn't talked to his brother over four years. _Well let's get this over with already._

The phone rang a few times before a hoarse voice picked up.

"Hello?"

Sam felt how every memory of his life before the night Jess was killed rushed into him only because of that one simple word. He almost hung up but stopped himself. This was the only way he could keep Haley with him. _Safe._ Sam took a steadying breath.

"Dean?"

There was a long silence and for a moment Sam thought he had lost the connection. _I have lost it a long time ago._

"Sam?" Dean's voice was full of – well everything.

"Yeah, Dean, it's me. Look – ", Sam thought he could get right to the point but, of course, no such luck.

"Well you've got a lot of nerve, don't you…" Dean said angrily. For a moment Sam thought Dean was going to hang up on him. "Why are calling me? Do you have any idea what time is it?"

"Yeah, it's late I know", Sam snapped. Then he tried to calm himself down. "Dean, listen to me. I need your help."

"'Late'? 'Late' doesn't even begin to cover it! I was – " Suddenly Dean seemed to realize what Sam was saying. "Are you in trouble? Is Haley alright? Come on man, tell me!"

"I would if you just shut up!" Sam looked when Haley stirred up a little. So that she wouldn't wake up Sam stepped outside of the room. "Dean I know you are angry and you have every right to be. But would you just hear me out?" Sam tried to reassure him. He couldn't mess this up.

Sam heard Dean take a second to calm down a little. "Okay Sam, I'm listening."

Sam wrapped up the situation they were in to his brother. He told him Haley was fine and that they needed him to move in with them for a while so that Sam could put their life back in order. What he didn't tell him was that he missed his brother and his support so much it hurt sometimes.

"So you are saying you got the social welfare after you", Dean stated. "I mean really after you. So close you can almost feel the paper cuts in your ass. I bet you can – "

"You done with the metaphors?" Sam just wanted to know the _answer_ god damn it.

"So you need my help, huh?" Sam could almost _hear_ Dean raising his eyebrow.

"Look, if you are busy I get it. I just thought – ", Sam stopped. What exactly had he thought? That Dean would just drop everything and drive from God knows where to help his poor brother. Even Dean wouldn't be that much of a stupid. He had had to know he was the last person Sam has called. The last person Sam could have counted on.

"Shut up you moron. Of course I'll help you out. What did you think I would say?" When Dean didn't get an answer he said: "Oh. Well I actually just finished up one job so it's the same to me if I hit the road tomorrow morning."

Sam closed his eyes but then turned to look at through the window the sleeping form that probably had no idea how close it had been this time. And how many times it would be much closer.

"Yeah thanks man. I – " What? 'I owe you one?' Sam didn't really know what to say to express his gratitude.

But once again Dean seemed to know what Sam wanted to say. "Yeah, don't sweat it, man. I'll see you guys in the morning." And after that he was gone. _But not for good this time_.

TBC…


	7. When it's time for punches and hugs

**AN1:** And finally the moment all the Dean girls (me included) have been waiting for: **the brotherly reunion**! This was pretty sweet chapter to write because I love those little brotherly moments of the show. For those who are disappointed when Dean came running when Sam asked I'm sorry but that's just the way this is going to be. :D

**AN2:** I don't know would have I ever published this story without my beta takiaisjalka so you should really thank her! Don't be afraid of sharing your thoughts of this chapter!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 7: When it's time for punches and hugs **

"Uncle Dean!" Haley's joyful scream almost pierced Sam's ears.

"UH!" Now that sounded like Dean got the 'happy Haley' hug. Sam knew by experience it could knock over a fully grown man. Hell, it had!

"What's up, my favorite niece?" Dean's low voice sounded weird. Sam had gotten used to having the only male voice in the room, in Haley's life. He had gotten used to being the _only_ voice in Haley's life. _Well that's about to change. For four weeks._

"I'm your only nice, uncle-Dean!"

"Thank God for that. I got my hands full even with you," Dean teased. "Now, where's your Dad? I need to talk to him."

Sam swallowed hard. This wasn't going to be easy; to face Dean after all these years. But Sam didn't have a choice but to step out of the bathroom.

_Okay, that wasn't what I expected._ Dean hadn't changed a bit. He still wore their Dad's old leather jacket and a pair of worn out jeans. Sam wondered if those were the same pair of shoes, too. But something in Dean's face had changed though; it was older and looked like he had gone to the hell and back. It was the face of a hunter who had gone through a lot. Sam wondered if he had that kind of a face, too.

"Haley why don't you go and grab some coke from the store few blocks down," Sam said and handed some money to Haley.

Haley made a face because she didn't want to leave his uncle but obeyed her Dad anyway. After the door closed behind Haley Sam felt like calling her back. Dean stared at him and Sam desperately tried to find his ability to speak again.

"Look Dean I know you – ", Sam couldn't finish his sentence when he felt Dean's punch. A hard punch. Sam stumbled back a little. Then he was pushed against the wall behind him. Hard again.

"You don't know _shit_, you hear me?" Dean's breath was hot against his face. "You just vanished into thin air and I thought you were dead! I was worried sick, man! So don't you dare to say you know _something_."

Then just as suddenly as the punch Sam was dragged into a fierce hug. He could feel Dean's heart hammering against his and his hands shaking a little when he crushed Sam.

"I thought you were dead, man", Dean repeated a little quieter this time. "You don't have any idea how worried I was."

"Yeah, I'm starting to get the idea", Sam tried to breath in Dean's embrace. "Dean, dude, I can't breathe."

Then Dean seemed to realize that there were limits how long you can hug a guy. Even if it was your brother. He took a few steps back and took a look at Sam's face.

"Sorry, man, didn't mean to hit so hard."

"Nah, I'm okay." Sam rubbed his jaw.

And just like that they were Sam and Dean again. Though Sam knew it wouldn't be that simple. It never was.

TBC…


	8. When U think U're doing the right thing

**AN1:** You seemed to wait the brothers' reunion to happen so bad and when it did…Did you even notice it happened? :D Well, this chapter is about Sam's parenting again and I'm sorry if you can't stand the way I've turned our puppy dog eyes Sammy into. Just hang in there!

**AN2:** A huge hug and thank you takiaisjalka for your beta reading! And keep the comments coming!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTER 8: When you think you're doing the right thing **

The sun was burning hot over the open place in the middle of the thick forest. The wind didn't reach Dean's sweating forehead. Not to mention that his soaking wet shirt also felt pretty uncomfortable. But Dean knew he wasn't the only one feeling like shit. Haley stood next to his Dad who held a bow in his hands.

"But Dad, I don't want to do this now", Haley complained and looked longingly at the water bottle next to Dean. "There's so hot in here. I don't – "

"Now Haley, that's enough!" Sam cut her daughter off vigorously. "If we aren't hunting we might as well practice some bow hunting which by the way seems to be your weakness. You don't want to get yourself hurt again, do you?"

Haley's eyes widened as she listened to his Dad's words. She didn't want to end up in the hospital again. She also didn't want her Dad to get in the hospital because she was too lazy to exercise. So once again she picked up the bow and stretched out to her back to get an arrow.

Sam nodded and guided Haley to take a correct position and aim straight to the target. The arrow darted forward with great power and Haley stumbled a little. The narrow hit the tree behind the actual target. The little girl's shoulders slumped down. Dean could swear there were tears in her eyes.

"Again", Sam said when looking at the tree the arrow had hit. The command was insistent and didn't let room for any complaints.

Haley looked at her Dad under her brows and at that moment she hated him very much.

TBC…


	9. When it's time to face the truth

**AN1: **Sorry I didn't post yesterday but my beta wasn't feeling good and I didn't want to stress her too much. Without her I couldn't post these fics so her well-being is important to me! :D

**AN2:** Thank you for my sweet beta takiaisjalka, hope you feel better hun! Enjoy and please comment!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTE 9: When it's time to face the truth**

_Later that day…_

"What's taking her so long?"

Sam paced around the carpet. Haley had left to get some 'fresh air' like she had put it. Dean however thought she had left to get away from his Dad for a while. He still couldn't understand the hell Sam had put Haley through this afternoon with the bow hunting.

"Calm down, man. You are gonna burn a hole through the damn floor."

Sam sat down onto his bed and started to tap his fingers against the mattress. After a while he was pacing again. Dean frowned.

"What are you worrying about anyway? It's not like Haley can't look after herself." Dean knew where his next statement would lead to but he couldn't stop himself from murmuring. "You've made damn sure she knows how to kill every creature from a bee to an angry spirit."

Sam's head snapped angrily and the annoyance was clear in his voice: "And that's a bad thing?"

Dean raised himself from the bed. "No, I'm saying it's kinda weird that you are scared to let her walk on her own but you hunt _demons_ with her almost every week." When Sam looked him like an idiot Dean couldn't believe it. "Don't you think there's something else a normal kid should be doing?"

"Yeah, don't you think I don't know that, Dean? But in case you haven't noticed we aren't exactly a _normal_ family, now are we?" Sam stopped pacing and folded his arms across his chest. "I mean, she knows these things exist, of course she should know how to kill them, too."

"Yeah, like what makes _her_ so special, right?" Dean knew he was totally out of line but he couldn't bite his tongue any longer.

Sam looked confused. "What do you – "

"Oh come on, Sam! Don't you see? We had that 'raising a hunter' childhood. And you hated the way Dad raised us and now you are doing the exact same thing to Haley."

Sam narrowed his eyes and squeezed his lips together. Through gritted teeth he growled: "I'm _nothing_ like Dad, you hear me?

Dean raised his eye browns. "You aren't?" Then he shook his head a little. "The few days I've been with you guys and day by day you remind me of him more and more. I mean yeah, you have every right to feel mad after Jessica but –"

When Sam didn't say anything Dean continued: "Look man, I'm not trying to pick a fight here, I'm just saying. And maybe like Dad you also think you are doing the right thing but I'm begging you to ask yourself: are you?"

Later that night Sam stayed awake and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't shake the feeling that Dean had made one hell of a point earlier that day. He _had_ hated the way their Dad had treated them as children. Had hated the whole way of life actually. But he had also thought he could leave some day; say goodbye to his Dad and his insane crusade. Haley might have those same kinds of thoughts.

Sam turned to look at Haley sleeping next to his bed. _Could she hate me that much, too? Does she want to leave this life, and me? Should I try something else?_ But then he saw Jessica nailed to the ceiling and the blood dripping from her torn stomach. He could almost feel the flames burning his skin.

_I don't know what to do._ He turned again to look at his brother's sleeping body this time. _I don't know what to do._

TBC…


	10. When it's hard to come up with a tittle

**AN1:** You have been awfully quiet…Hope I'm not boring you :D But anyway, here's the tenth chapter, enjoy!

**AN2:** Thank you again takiaisjalka, you're a doll! :D Please let me know what do you think of this?

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTE 10: When it's hard to come up with a tittle**

A few days passed…

Dean sat on a weathered park bench enjoying the warm sun on his face. The park was full of families and the kids' joyful laughter carried through the air. But there was one thing which couldn't have made Dean happier: Haley's bright jubilant yells when his Dad chased her across the park. Dean smiled a little when Haley tripped and Sam fake-attacked her growling and his hands hold up like giant claws.

The sight of those two made him a little sad, too. He hadn't ever skedaddled his Dad. No, the only things he had run away from for his whole childhood were all different kind of monsters. He was a little sad because _Sam_ had had that kind of childhood too.

But after they had talked about Sam's parenting he had really seemed to start thinking things through. He hadn't talked about training for days or made Haley do any hunting with him. No, Sam was relaxed and happy with his daughter. Clearly he had thought Dean's words and decided he was more of a man than their Dad.

_Good for you little brother._

Dean's thoughts were interrupted by Sam and Haley collapsing panting on the bench next to him. Dean could see few sweat drops run down Sam's face.

"Damn you are fast" Sam said ruffling Haley's hair. She giggled and tried to climb onto his Dad's lap. "Uh-huh, Haley, you are all sweaty and dirty. Plus I'm thirsty and there's a corner store. You know your mission", he said after giving her a few dollars.

After Haley had left Sam closed his eyes and let the sun warm his face. The park was pretty crowded and people went by them all the time. They also kept Sam's attention away from images which usually popped into his head when he closed his eyes: Jess burning, all the sounds and smells, Haley's cries and his own panic.

"You still think about it, huh?" Dean didn't even have to say what he was talking about.

"All the damn time. Every time I close my eyes." Sam sighed and rubbed his temples. "I just can't get the images out of my head."

"But you are trying, aren't you. For Haley."

"Yeah, Haley." Sam muttered. That made Dean frown.

"Sam?" Dean tried to make an eye contact. When Sam turned away from him Dean knew something was up. "Okay, what's going on?"

"Dean – "

"No, don't _Dean_ me. Spill. "

Sam squirmed on his seat. He swallowed and opened his mouth a few times like he was remembering how to speak. Dean had an idea that he wasn't going to like what he's about to hear. Somehow he was also kind of satisfied what kind of agony his brother was suffering. _I'm still the big brother in the house._

Finally Sam seemed to find his courage and tried to spit all the words in one syllable.

"."

It took Dean a while to understand what Sam had just said. When he finally did he wasn't happy, he wasn't happy _at all_.

"You _kind of_ found a hunt, huh? There's no _kind of_ finding a hunt, Sam, and you know it so stop the bull!" Dean bolted up from the bench and stared at Sam in disbelief. "I thought we talked about this! You'd stop hunting and give Haley a decent childhood that she deserves and – "

"No, I didn't", when Dean didn't seem to understand Sam continued. "I didn't say any of those things, _you_ said. I just listened."

When Dean tried to argue with him Sam stopped him by waving hand. "Look, Dean, I know you mean well and you are only trying protect us but – "

Dean slapped Sam's hand away and pushed his face just few inches from his brother's. "Don't give me that god damn hand! And I seriously think it's _your_ turn to listen for a change! Sam, wake the fuck up! This is your daughter we are talking about! Jessica wouldn't ever have – "

Sam's fist connected with Dean's jaw with a dull _duff_. Dean stumbled back a little while holding his bloody lower lip. Right then Sam seemed to realize what he had done and looked at his hand like it was some sort of extra part of his body he didn't have the control over. Dean spitting blood wasn't a sight he wanted to see. Jessica's name had just blurred his mind.

"Dean I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to", he tried to reach out for Dean but he flinched away from him. That made Sam's heart clench even more than seeing Dean in pain because of him.

"Damn I've forgot what a right hook you have." He straightened himself and set his jaw and looked at Sam. There were absolutely no emotions on his face. "So you really want to ruin all this you have? And you want _me _to help you with that?"

"Dean, please, listen to me. I wasn't trying to find anything to hunt, I really wasn't. I just happened to hear one conversation over at the bar a few nights ago." When Dean didn't comment Sam continued. "And I looked into it. I think it's just a ghoul or something, an easy salt and burn gig."

"First of all there's no '_just a ghoul'_s, they are always extremely dangerous creatures and two when has it ever been an easy salt and burn, huh?" Dean shook his head. "Someone always gets hurt, Sam, don't you see it?"

Sam frowned. This wasn't how he expected Dean Winchester the great monster hunter to speak. "Dean, what are you talking about? Of course there's always someone who gets hurt and for the most part it's us but we don't care about that! There's always the bigger picture, too."

"And what would that be, Sam? What is your divine greater good?" Dean can almost see the word '_Jessica_' in Sam's head. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. It wasn't Sam's fault the love of his life was dead. And it wasn't exactly his fault he couldn't let go either. Sam just didn't see he was almost the perfect copy of John Winchester.

"The thing you don't understand Sammy is that you got way too much on the plate here. There's too much to risk."

"So is that a no?"

Dean looked at his brother. Sam was deadly serious about this and Dean knew he couldn't stop him if it really would come to that. So the only thing he _could_ do was try and keep Haley safe and look after his dumb ass brother.

"No, but it definitely isn't a yes either. Let's say it's an 'I can't believe how stupid you are but I guess I have to watch your back'."

TBC…


	11. When it's time to get pissed

**AN1**: I'm so sorry for leaving you like this! I promise there won't be any breaks! Sorry.

**AN2:** Thank you my awesome beta takiaisjalka! 3

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTE 11: When it's time to get pissed**

"I thought you said this was an easy salt and burn gig?" Dean was pissed as hell. No, wait he was _wet_ and pissed as hell and it was entirely Sam's fault. Now he was slightly shaking in his dripping clothes and glared at Sam every now and then.

"Aw come on Dean, you know it's never that simple", Sam said matter of factly. If Dean hadn't been so completely wet and tired he would have strangled Sam. He couldn't believe he had let Sam overtalk him into this.

"How come you screwed up this badly, Sam? You said it was probably just a ghoul but it turned out to be a _very_ pissed of spirit. Why I have the feeling that you didn't tell me everything back then."

When Sam didn't answer Dean snapped. "You son of bitch! You knew! You knew all the freaking time it wasn't some harmless ghoul! You lied to me! You didn't need my help; the only thing you were looking for was bait." Dean shook his head. "I don't know you anymore, Sam."

"Look Dean, I'm really sorry. I had no idea the spirit would go nuts like that. I admit it was – "

"You _admit_? There shouldn't be anything you to admit! You should've told me it was really a ghost we were talking about. "

"Well I would have but you seem to have a problem with hunting these days." Sam was starting to get angry too.

"Yeah well, you should have too." Dean muttered.

After that they were both too annoyed to talk and heated looks were thrown. Sam honestly felt bad for tricking Dean like that and his brother was right: this wasn't like Sam. Only Sam didn't know what 'Sam' _was_ like anymore.

"What if I would have said 'no' back then, you know, when you asked my help?" Dean said after a while. "Would you have gone after that spirit with Haley? Would you have asked her to be your bait?" Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"I wouldn't have to ask. Haley would have done that in a heartbeat."

And that was the exact answer Dean had been afraid of.

TBC…


	12. When your worst nightmare comes true

**AN1**: Okay, tell me if this was too weird plot twist?

**AN2:** And once again: thank you my beta takiaisjalka and please comment!

**WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF DEAN HAD NEVER TURNED BACK?**

**CHAPTE 12: When your worst nightmare comes true**

The moment the Impala was parked in front of their motel room Sam knew something was off. He had this odd feeling in his gut. Dean seemed to read Sam's mind because he went stiff too and looked at Sam.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know but I don't like this feeling."

Dean grabbed a knife Sam hadn't seen before and stepped before Sam.

"What's that?" Sam nodded toward the knife Dean was holding.

"It's demon killing knife. I Got it from Bobby when Dad and I were tracing down the Demon."

Sam's blood ran cold. "You think it's a demon?" Dean didn't say anything. "Haley!" Sam screamed and pushed past Dean busting the motel room door in with his giant foot.

The room was dark but Sam could see Haley tied to a chair in the middle of it. Her head was hanging and a trickle of blood was coming from her nose. Sam and Dean both took a step forward but they were thrown away at the same moment by some invisible power. Sam slammed painfully against the wall behind him. He saw Dean doing the same.

"Well it's about time, boys. We have been waiting for you", said a woman with big black eyes behind them. "We need to have a chat."

TBC…


End file.
